For years, Gettysburg Pennsylvania has been haunted by ghosts, ghouls, and groovy ooey-gooeys. At least, that’s the word on the street.

And, no, I’m not just talking about some tourist trap souvenir shops that provide back street alley tours so you can inspect Gettysburg’s creeks and stone bridges in the dark. I’m talking about real live dead people scaring the living daylights out of your children. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?

Actually, Friday the 13th horror stories aside, tonight is Friday the 10th and it’s still haunted. I’m scared even as I’m writing this.

The reason I’m scared is not because of some poltergeist activity reported by the local newspapers, which I seldom read. If there was a goblin on the loose I wouldn’t know about it. I’m scared because there will be TV people in Gettysburg tonight. Yes, those eerie fearie and nasty crassty TV people!

In unison now: Oooooooooooohhh!

Whatchu Talking About, Gettysburg Tramp?

Here’s the deal. The Travel Channel is paying a little visit to Gettysburg tonight around 8 p.m. to film the strange goings on as they’re going on. They’ll be filming for seven straight hours!

How they’re going to get the ghosts and haunted crevices in America’s most touristy town to cooperate for that long is beyond me, but I heard they’re doing this event without paid actors. If you’re hungry for some real live ghost stories and you’d like to see a staged, though unofficially unstaged haunting, then sneak in on the TV crew at the Dobbin House, Farnsworth House, Shriver House, or Jennie Wade House. Just don’t come to my house because I’ll be hiding under the covers.

And if you’re feeling really risky, then dress up in a cute little private eye disguise and pretend to be tailing the Gettysburg mayor while you keep a left eye on The Travel Channel’s TV crew as they go to - gasp! - an undisclosed location. I don’t know where that is, but I’m quite sure it’s very scary.

At any rate, if you’re looking to be a star and want to show up on TV, I know two ways you can attempt to make that happen. Pretend to be one of the ghosts tonight around midnight or walk toward the camera crew - no, run toward the camera crew - at four minutes past midnight with your “Oh, I’m scared witless” look on your face.

According to the Gettysburg Times, the source of this news story, over 100 members of The Travel Channel’s camera crew have already shown up in town with their “ghost detection equipment”. I’m betting Caspar won’t be friendly tonight.